The Big XII probably regrets treating the G5 like chumps now

It feels like it was just months ago, when the mighty Big XII pretended to court selected members of the Group of Five, extending a counterfeit invitation to join their exclusive country club. And yes, the G5 fell for it like giggling school girls, parading before the well-coifed men of the Power Five, degrading itself for the mere privilege of joining its exclusive ranks.

Oh, what a boisterous Big XII chortle you shared at the expense of the G5! Allow me to paraphrase the rejection letter: We regret to inform you that NONE OF YOU are smart or pretty enough for the Big XII. Only a university of extraordinary character can aspire to be Big XII material. Quite frankly, you simply do not pass muster. Good day, sir! 

Hey, we were all bummed! Rejection hurts, and for a fleeting moment, we thought we had been invited to the prom. We were suckers!

Except, maybe you’re the sucker, Big XII. After all, you’re the conference harboring a lawless campus for which rape and sexual assault went unpunished for years. Your reaction to this? TAKE SOME OF THEIR MONEY! Admittedly, that’s likely where it hurts programs of Big XII character the most – right in the old leather wallet.

As Big XII accountants are garnishing Baylor’s wages, you have to wonder if the conference’s athletic directors are sitting in a dark room (paneled with the finest mahogany), contemplating the unceremonious expulsion of one of their own and wondering if they should have treated their expansion search with a little more dignity.

The Big XII could have had a replacement programs waiting in the wings. Instead, they settled for a good laugh.

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